I Can’t Take Him Anywhere

The other day (or yesterday, whatever) while I was still mostly asleep, my husband asked me if I was planning on running the Shippensburg Turkey Trot 5k on Thanksgiving morning. I had seen the banner hanging over top of King Street about it, but hadn’t looked into it at all, so I told him I didn’t know. He said that if I did, he would be there running with me.

Later that day, as we were heading out to shoot unsuspecting squirrels (Which didn’t happen…I told him they were extinct!), I asked if I had heard him right that he was going to run with me in the 5k. He said it was. (This was a huge surprise to me, in part because I’ve never seen him run, and secondly because he had a heart attack back in June. I’ll tell you about that another time.)

So tonight we went to WalMart to get Diablo III expansion packs and some running shoes for Dylan. While there, he noticed that they had all kinds of slippers, and decided that he needed some. It’s been getting cold, and he wanted something to keep his toes warm. Would conventional slippers due? Of course not! He wanted the big fluffy things. The crazy ones the size of king size pillows.

img_20161113_203258105There were some winter holiday ones in one of those center aisle bins with reindeer and penguins. But they weren’t big enough. The he saw the yeti feet. He snatched them up so quick it would make the Flash seem like the tortoise from the childhood fable. Unfortunately it wasn’t the right size. So we kept digging through the bin, and I found a pair in his size.

Now I’ve only ever owned one pair of slippers before, and they were rather traditional. I’ve never had psychotic big-as-your-face slippers. But now I do. His and Hers Abominable Snow Monster feet.

Yes my husband is crazy. I love him, but he’s just not quite right. That’s why I can’t take him anywhere.

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6 thoughts on “I Can’t Take Him Anywhere

  1. The last day of one of my psychology classes, a few students gave one professor some Sigmund Freud slippers. She put them on and wore them the rest of class, it was great. I’ve only had one pair of slippers and they were smiley faces…in the 90’s, haha. But those look pretty awesome….I kind of want to get some slippers now

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