(I was encouraged to continue the story I started in Unreal Reality, so here goes. I hope you enjoy!)
I admire my physique in the mirror for a minute before leaving the house. As I had the urge to hunt rabbits when I first woke to this cartoon world, my hunt had now changed with my new identity—ladies.
I see my neighbor approaching—a nerdy kid with thick glasses that speaks Klingon and completes calculus problems for their entertainment value. “Johnny!”
I cringe internally as I brush past him. “Not now, Carl.” The sight of an animated beauty has caught my persona’s eye, and I’m a blur as I move to her side. She’s got legs twice as long as mine, a perfect figure, and flowing red hair. “Hey sexy mama. Has anyone ever told you I have beautiful eyes?”
Even as I speak them I can’t believe the words coming out of my mouth. Watching the show always made me groan with his pathetic pick-up lines that forever revolved around him—now me—without any genuine interest or feeling toward the woman the words were directed to. I know what’s coming now, as it always happens, and moments later I’m picking myself up from the heap she beat me into.
The show carries on, the script continues. As with my last “identity” one situation flows to the next. I’m a mute mouse being chased by an equally silent gray cat. A bear in a hat and tie out stealing campers’ lunches. A white horse wearing a black hat, cape, and mask and carrying a guitar. A flying squirrel with goggles.
I pray my insanity will end, for that’s what this must be. The darkness returns between scenes, and I wonder what incarnation I’ll resurrect as this time. Something cold and wet touches my hand and I hear a whine. I know that whine. I force my eyes open, back in my own world, my pit bull nosing my hand as she demands to go out.
I run a hand over my weary face and lift myself out of the recliner. “I’m coming, baby girl.” She cocks her head to the side as I shut off the TV. My head is pounding, as if all the mallets, anvils, and pianos were real, but I know it’s just the new medication. “Never again, girl. Ambien and Cartoon Network just don’t mix.”